From The Pangs of Purgatory to the Fires of Hell, and a Rear-End Thermometer Too

Speaking of screwing, you know you work in a high-crime neighborhood when the bail bondsmen have billboards.  You know it’s spring, and therefore drive-by shooting season has resumed, when our good friend Chuck Brown the bail bondsman has graced Morse Road with his graphic but effective ad:

If I’m going down, hopefully I will have the sentience of mind to remember our good friend Chuck Brown.  Better yet I would pray for the sentience of mind not to commit acts such as armed robbery, grand theft auto, drug trafficking, or capital murder, that may render me in need of the services Mr. Brown provides.  The billboard next to it was sponsored by a local church, telling fathers to take responsibility for their children.  Perhaps if more people paid attention to billboard #1 there would be far less need for billboard#2.  Many young offenders never had a father in the true sense of the word- and there is a world of difference between being merely a sperm donor and being a father to one’s children.

You would not see this billboard in a nice polite conservative Republican suburb by the way. There is a reason for that, namely that nice, polite, conservative Republicans tend not to engage in armed robbery, grand theft auto, drug trafficking or capital murder.  We generally are not into drive-bys, as we have been taught to solve our grievances by more civilized and less permanent means.  We are generally averse to taking other people’s cars to sell them to chop shops, and the only drugs we take are the ones our doctors prescribe.   Mr. Brown would not make much money off of us.

When you see ads like this you know you are in da ‘hood now.

I know I can use things like this to reinforce my misanthropic view.  I try not to be overly biased but it’s downright scary when the shop and rob  store next door gets robbed regularly and we get treated to SWAT and helicopters and K-9 units being deployed right across the parking lot.  It kills my faith in human nature and reinforces my deep disdain for Democrat politicians who think moving a bunch of violent foreigners into the city of Columbus was a good idea. T

Then again I have to agree with one teaching of John Calvin (no I am not a strict Calvinist in terms of theology, but Calvin had a lot of things right)- the total depravity of man.  Apart from God humanity is pure evil, no doubt about that.

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