Damn the Torpedoes, Full Steam Ahead, and Let the Pundits Be Wrong

May 6, 2016Tonya Lanthron 2 Comments

reagan-great I have said before that I’ve not been as excited about a presidential candidate – meaning Donald Trump- since Reagan in 1980. For you math wizards out there, I was 11 years old in 1980, and more than aware of how President Carter’s flawed policies (especially his mishandling of the coal strikes and the mollycoddling of unions that led to millions of jobs going overseas) contributed to the destruction of my home town. I watched my friends and schoolmates move away as I was growing up. I watched as our town turned into a poverty stricken ghost town. My family at times was reduced to “pay the mortgage and utilities” or “get groceries.” More than once we survived on canned tuna, off brand mac & cheese, and Cream of Wheat. .

Yes, in spite of what the pundits try to say- that people in my demographic, i.e. middle aged, white professional women, can’t possibly support a “racist” or “woman-hater” like Donald Trump, I beg to strongly disagree.

donald-trump-businessjunkee

Trump is giving people like me, yes even women, a voice. He’s saying all the things the establishment drones are too afraid (or too beholden to their donors) to say. He is saying what many of us have been thinking and hoping for, and that we’ve been denied all these years. We voted for establishment Republicans hoping to get away from the failed and dangerous policies of the dreadful socialist/globalist/terrorist supporting Democrats- and the people we voted for to fight those failed policies just go right along with them instead of listening to the people who voted for them.

Newsflash: the media won’t tell you this, but fly over country is PISSED.

burqa

I am tired of seeing my country being invaded by foreigners who refuse to contribute to the greater society because they subscribe to a medieval death cult (i.e. Islam,) that teaches that people like me should be dead, or at the very least objectified and forced into servitude. Yet, between Obama and his buddy Kasich (who is supposedly a Republican) they moved in 41,000 Somalian invaders (91% of them are on welfare) into north Columbus (not far from where I live.) The long and the short of that is I am paying to support people who want me dead, and I can’t do anything about it. Nobody asked me- or anyone else in central Ohio- if they wanted these moochers planted here. Do we really want little Mogadishu in the middle of Ohio? I know I sure as hell don’t. They destroyed their own country, and sure as night follows day they will mooch and pillage and destroy ours as well.

bangladesh-islamic-terrorism

This isn’t Detroit…yet.

I don’t know if Trump will be able to “fix” what’s wrong in this country but he is at least naming and addressing the problems, which Obama and Hillary, all their sycophants, and even the establishment RINOs refuse to do.

obama-napolitano-profiling-terrorist

I don’t have a problem with American hegemony. I really don’t. Perhaps it was the way I was raised- that the world doesn’t owe one a living, that excellence is its own reward, and that it is inherently wrong to mooch from others.

Trump is right in that it is time for Americans to put America first. It is past time to stop the Islamic terrorists and drug cartels who are taking advantage of our open borders and asinine immigration policies. It is past time to establish fair trade practices, and to end the welfare dependency class. It’s not a matter of xenophobia or racism but of sheer survival. Unless we take drastic steps to end the destruction Obama and his failed policies have brought upon us, America will go the way of Europe.

Now Is Not the Time for “Civility,” and the Eloquence of Stating the Obvious

March 28, 2016Tonya Lanthron 1 Comment

captain obvious

It’s sad that in this politically correct world, that young adults are encouraged to cling neurotically to “safe spaces” where they won’t be hurt by cruel (though often true) words. It’s bad enough that these poor kids grew up believing that everyone gets a trophy, but to believe that everything is OK just because you can’t or won’t face reality is simply cowardice and stupidity.

Ignoring the present Muslim invasion is ignoring history. Of course, history isn’t taught as it should be, for if it were, the Western world would not have forgotten the lessons of the past. One would think that the relatively recent rise and fall of Nazism and the end of Soviet Communism would serve as stout warnings against totalitarian and/or collectivist movements, but apparently stupidity dies hard. Islam, in spite of being a false and counterfeit religion, has been around much longer than either Nazism or Communism. It’s been in the death and deceit business a very long time.

Radical Islam vs_ the west

As the world has witnessed over the past few decades of so-called Arab liberation, Islam is anything but peaceful. Islam does not seek to co-exist with other value systems, nor does it seek for its adherents to hold hands and sing about living in harmony with everyone. It is more of a brutal and archaic socioeconomic system than it is a religion, even though in its barbarity it hides behind the worship of an ancient Arabic moon-god idol. Islam deifies a false god that is most certainly NOT the One True God that Jews and Christians worship. At best, Islam should be considered a nihilistic death cult that should be shunned and condemned by the civilized world. Until just the past few decades, this was the position of the Western world. Why we have felt the need to defend or protect those who belong to value systems that want anyone outside of that value system dead is beyond me.

I never want any female relative or descendant of mine to have to be enslaved by Islam- hidden behind a burqa, and beholden to the whims of “men” who think it perfectly acceptable to behead anyone they disagree with, and to fornicate with anything that has a hole in it. Unless perhaps that something is a pig or a dog? In a way I find it interesting that Islamic law considers dogs unclean. There’s something about calling something good evil that smacks of irony here.

Clara 14 small

Clara is actually very clean for a dog. And she doesn’t wipe her ass with her bare hand.

I can’t help but see a very clear lesson from the past. Neville Chamberlain thought that if he appeased Hitler that appeasement would bring peace. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Ann Coulter has her usual catty and spot on insight on this here.

Obama (and with far less noble aims than Chamberlain) either thinks that he can buy peace from radical Islam by allowing their invaders to settle here freely, or he knows full well that he is opening the door to a foreign and hostile army by settling “refugees” in this country. Considering Obama’s actions and affiliations in the past, he is most likely aiding and abetting Islamic terror with full purpose and intent. Either of those above choices is a bad choice, because there is no brokering peace with an ideology hell bent upon war. Inviting them in only makes the war all the more inevitable. One does not appease alligators by feeding them. Feeding alligators only makes them stronger and hungrier, as we should have learned from Hitler.

chamberlain2

This is not the time for civility. It is the time for blunt honesty no matter who gets butt hurt about it. There are people who follow an ideology- Islam- that calls for the death of everyone outside of that system. Even though this ideology hides behind the façade of religion, in truth, we ignore the evil of radical Islam to our peril.

The Death of Common Sense, Stand Your Ground, A Time for All Things Under Heaven

March 23, 2016Tonya Lanthron 1 Comment

One switch to turn it on. One switch to turn it off. If only life were that cut and dry, it would be so much easier.

So who is naïve enough to believe that with the push of a switch the civilized world could turn back time and heed the warnings from the past? I hate to be someone who says, “I told you so,” but, I told you so, and I take no comfort nor smug consolation in that statement. The engine of human avarice will stop, but not of its own volition, not any time soon, and not before irreparable mistakes are made, and irreplaceable treasures are lost.

The seeds of destruction were sown long before my lifetime. In fact if one is to be completely accurate about the eventual demise of humanity, it began with the Fall and the devolution simply continues. I’m not being negative, I’m being pragmatic. Facts are facts. For those who doubt this assertion, look up the word entropy. Given enough time, everything turns to shit.

At the current time the most nefarious and pernicious danger facing the free world is not “climate change.” Climate change is happening, but it has always been happening, and always will happen no matter what humans do. George Carlin had the best take on the folly of human-engineered climate change of anyone I have heard.

There is a certain irony that a comedian who has been dead for eight years makes more sense than policymakers. I find that fascinating, though sad. I’ve also noticed that the more that people oppose the truth, the more that they make a mockery of themselves trying to defend a lie. I don’t get how the fervor spent in defense of a lie somehow makes it true.

While Europe burns- largely due to their own blindness to the wolves they have ignorantly allowed on their soil- Obama, the naked wannabe emperor he is, is yukking it up with Communists and taking in a little Cuban b-ball. While America would likely be better off if Obama stays in Cuba, posing with a likeness of Che Guevara, (how special) and displaying to the world just how big of an asshat he is, it is still regretful and embarrassing that he has so thoroughly disgraced the office he stole.

Obama Muslim Brotherhood

If anything his dreadful precedents should prove that voting is important, and that it’s about time the people voted for someone worth a damn- and that fraud is taken seriously for a change.

Then we have John Kasich. At one time he came across as a half way decent guy, at least not as bat shit crazy as Ted Strickland- Ohio’s last governor who is unfortunately running for the US Senate. Kasich is an embarrassment at best, and delusional is more like it. The thing is, Ohio doesn’t want him back, especially after it came to light that he is behind the influx of Somalian welfare bums- some 40,000 of them-all potential Muslim terrorists, into central Ohio.

terrorist

Charity is one thing, but when there are veterans in Ohio who are homeless or without proper health care, then I don’t give a fart in a high wind about foreign Muslim “refugees” who come here to suck up welfare, riot because they don’t like their free housing, and drive up the crime rate. I sure hope Kasich thought the federal subsidy money for bringing in these people who are a drain on the economy and a significant terror risk was worth it.

Wonder if, while on his Commie Paradise Vacation Tour, Obama remembers to buy his favorite RINO governor a Che Guevara t-shirt?

Whatever I Fear, the List is Long

March 19, 2016Tonya Lanthron Leave a comment

Hell_LavaPit1

I do believe in a literal hell, even though this rendering sort of reminds me of a mosh pit backlit with a red light. Jesus talked about hell frequently in the Bible, and I don’t think He was being allegorical. This being said, thankfully, I have neither the authority nor the desire to consign anyone to that realm. There are enough horrors right here on this earth to convince me that I don’t want to see such things escalate or continue.

I’m sure that the way I’m wired has something to do with the fact that I tend toward fear most of the time. Now that I’m older and have the life experience and scripts to be bit more rational about my fears, I don’t always appear to be a deer in the headlights, but those fears are far closer to the surface than I would like to acknowledge.

bad_dreams_for_kim_kardashian-115965

I’m not necessarily talking about dreams one has while sleeping. I almost never have the vivid and terrifying dreams I had as a child, but neither do I have the wonderful, majestic visions in “good” dreams I once enjoyed either. If I remember my dreams at all, they are usually rather banal and bland. Whether the neutralization of my dreams is a side effect of the medications I take, or this numbing occurs because I seldom sleep soundly, or this graying effect can be attributed to the cumulative grimy jadedness of age, I don’t know. I am thankful for the dearth of terrifying nightmares, but I could use a really good fantasy or two to savor these days.

full mourning Why does Victorian mourning garb remind me of burqas?

I am terrified of the prospect that some day my granddaughter could be forced to wear a burqa and be subjugated to the barbaric laws of Islam. Maybe I am over reacting to what I see and read, but history has much to teach us about Islam and what happens when radical Islamists find their ways into civilization.

burqa-ban Not here. Not unless it is a personal choice and 100% voluntary. And who would voluntarily choose this?

I remember as a child being afraid (and this was during the Cold War) that the Soviet Union would randomly nuclear bomb the entire world into kingdom come. Of course my childhood was filled with fear around-the-clock, fear of pretty much everything apart from dogs and books.

offended yoda

Historically speaking it takes pretty dire situations to wake up the American people. We like to stay quiet and peaceful and complacently bucolic. For the most part that is not a bad thing, except when change is necessary or a great adversity needs to be overcome.

We have dealt with an ever increasing degree of corruption, graft and cronyism in our government at all levels. Obama is arguably the very worst and most corrupt president this country has ever seen, so much so that his very ineptitude and disdain for this country and disregard for the people is waking people up. We are pissed. We are afraid for our future, and we are realizing the need to do something about it.

wake up

The Times, They are Weird, and Payback, the Ineffable Bitch

February 19, 2016Tonya Lanthron Leave a comment

Conservatives Gather Near Washington DC for CPAC 2015 (February 27, 2015)

Donald Trump speaks at the 2015 Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) at the Gaylord National Resort & Convention Center at National Harbor MD on February 27, 2015. (Photo by Jeff Malet)

Ok, I will say it. I’ve not been as wound up about a presidential election since I was an 11 year old kid passing out flyers and knocking on doors for the Reagan campaign in 1980. The last two election cycles (really, the last four, if you count G.W. Bush) I’ve sort of held my nose and voted for the Republican front runner not necessarily because he was the best choice there could possibly be, but because the Democrat running against him was a certifiable nut job or a flat out socialist/communist/leftist kook. I’ll take a Mitt Romney- a moderate at best- over Barack Obama (in fact, I’d take my dead Husky -Sheena, as she had more sense and would do less damage in her current state of decomposition) any day of the week, but Romney was certainly no Ronald Reagan.

offended yoda

At first I saw and heard Donald Trump and thought, “Ross Perot 2.0,” but I’m not thinking that so much anymore. The Donald gets things done. Better yet, he makes sense. This could get interesting. I might actually enjoy voting for this guy. I might actually be downright gleeful to see him win.

There are some good arguments against Trump. He is vulgar. He is brash. He has been on both sides of the political fence over the years. He is in your face. He is NOT the epitome of diplomacy and graciousness that was Ronald Reagan. But these aren’t Reagan’s times. We as a country, and a society have devolved much since then. If nothing else, Trump speaks to What’s Happening Now, and like sane and rightfully pissed off Americans everywhere, just having someone address what’s wrong and how it can be right again, is a breath of fresh air.

hobo died

Establishment suits like Cruz (who has the same nebulous eligibility issues as good old Barry O) or Rubio are just Democrat (socialist) lite and will continue on treading the “hold your nose,” lukewarm waters of appeasement like the entire GOP has during the entire illegitimate Obama presidency. I, for one, want the anti-Obama. Someone who won’t be lukewarm, and who refuses to feed alligators.

burger_king_obama

Trump’s vulgarity is mild compared to the greater vulgarity to which he stands in opposition. He’s voicing all those politically correct truths that nobody dares bring up- the issue of immigration from terrorist harboring countries, illegal immigration, welfare dependency, the unfair taxation of working people to subsidize programs and people who taxpayers strongly oppose, and the unholy disaster that is Obamacare. Trump not only identifies the elephants in the room, he exposes the “Emperor” wannabe’s total lack of clothing, substance and morals. I am thoroughly enjoying that.

All of the things I listed above are far more vulgar than Trump calling Obama a pussy, or Trump referring to Hillary Clinton as evil. Obama is a pussy, and Hillary most certainly is evil, but that’s beside the point. I don’t like to engage in ad hom attacks, but I agree Obama is a pussy (and if you’re telling the truth, and backing it up with facts, then it ceases to be an ad hom attack) because he is not man enough to flat out tell the truth and tell the world he is a globalist, communist MUSLIM who is perpetrating jihad right along with his terrorist buddies. Hillary is evil because she is behind the very things that Obama also supports, which is especially heinous. A woman being a cheerleader for the legality of late term abortions up until the due date of the child, (?) which to me says she is right up there on the evil scale with the biblical account of pagans sacrificing their offspring to good ol’ Molech. Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose- the more things change, the more they stay the same. Baby killing is nothing new, but it’s still evil no matter how you try to rationalize it.

joan

I dare to hope that the abomination of Obama will end some day. Maybe Hillary will go to jail for her treachery and fraud as well.

And I haven’t even started on the mysterious (yet oddly convenient for Obama and evil crew) death of a Supreme Court justice…

Politically Incorrect, Fashion Forward, and More Things I Shouldn’t Do

July 28, 2015Tonya Lanthron 2 Comments

Sometimes I have to wonder when I see old people wearing stuff like this. I’d bet Nixon was in office the last time this dude gave a mustache ride. The chick in the “virgin” t-shirt probably lost it sometime around V-E Day. Do they really read the t-shirts, or do they just put something on because it’s clean? Or do they just put something on because they’re going to be painting, or varnishing, or prancing around in dirty things so they really don’t care?

When I wear snarky t-shirts (and I wear them a lot) I usually have my snark-effect planned out. I want people to wonder when they see me in a shirt that says, “Only Trust People Who Like Big Butts, They Cannot Lie.” The “big butt” comment is even funnier when the reader of the shirt realizes that I am, shall we say, “bootily challenged.” I have the flattest, most non-existent white-bread ass on the planet. Except maybe for my illustrious son.

If that’s the story behind these oldsters’ fashions, more power to them. Keep ’em wondering.

For the younger set, Nixon was in office from 1969-1974. As far as American presidents go, Nixon gets a bad rap. The dude was a choir boy compared to Bill Clinton, and a veritable saint when compared to the current illegitimate occupant of the White House. But get me started on the detestable Barry O., and my rants can go on for days.

V-E Day (the day Allied victory was won in Europe) is May 8, 1945. The more I think about it, I bet a lot of people lost their virginity on V-E Day. I can’t really correlate Nixon’s presidency with mustache rides, (I know when I think “sexy,” Richard Nixon doesn’t come to mind) other than to comment that in the 1970’s almost all VD was curable.

Sit on your ass and keep your mouth shut. That’s not terribly heroic, but it is 100% effective in preventing all forms of VD!

I wonder if it is considered offensive to refer to Germans as “Huns” (generally a WWI reference) or “Krauts” (generally a WWII reference) or is it OK to use either term- because Germans are white?

I know that the term “Cracker” is considered derisive (in some circles) when directed at white people from the American South, but when did it become gauche to make fun of rednecks? It seems rednecks are the only socio-ethnic group that it’s OK to malign.

It’s time to stop worrying about offending people.

Speaking of which….In spite of myself, I really like Donald Trump. I don’t know if I would really want him to be President (although I would gladly prefer my dead dog Sheena over the current illegitimate squatter) but I do like him speaking the truth and rocking the boat. HIs politically incorrect approach is refreshing, if nothing else. There are people who need to be offended, and who need to have their heads pulled out of their asses. If we haven’t learned anything else from the debacle of the Obama Administration, we should know that we need to call a turd a turd. Those who don’t get it that the “Emperor” is naked – as well as being morally bankrupt and an aider and abettor of terrorism to boot- richly deserve a wake up call. If Trump accomplishes that, more power to him. The only thing I don’t want to see is a replay of Ross Perot, who in a roundabout way (another 20th century history lesson, kiddies) bought us eight long years of Bill Clinton.

If it’s cylindrical, brown, and left by the cat, it is best to assume the item is NOT a Tootsie Roll.

My cats are generally really good about using their boxes, and most cats are unless you let the boxes go too long or the cat is sick or something. Healthy cats usually don’t have much trouble shitting where they’re supposed to. Of course, the cats have the basement to themselves, with a small (too small for dogs) cat door so they can come and go downstairs as they need,.

I didn’t generate this meme. I’m enough of a grammar Nazi to know that the author should have used “to” instead of “too.”

Still, it’s a good point.

I can use the men’s locker room and watch the sausage show. Or not. It would be my luck that the guys who wear Speedos but who should be wearing Bermudas would be showering. I’d get a big old eyeful of something like this:

Better for me to shower in the women’s – and dress modestly behind the curtain.

When Being Right Isn’t Popular, and The Truth is Hard

January 7, 2015Tonya Lanthron Leave a comment

I would have loved to have met President Reagan. I would also have loved to have met General George S. Patton.

I have a love of historical non-fiction that I’ve not been able to indulge nearly as much as I would like to. However, I just finished reading Bill O’Reilly’s Killing Patton: The Strange Death of World War II’s Most Audacious General, and have been intrigued by not only Patton the man, but also by the bureaucracy and dare I say it, ineptitude, that surrounded him.

Granted, Patton wasn’t a man known for diplomacy. His famous address to the Third Army on the eve of D-Day (according to today’s effete cultural standards) would have to be considered quite politically incorrect and would get at least an MA rating for the language he used. All the more reason for me to really admire the man.

The truth can be hard. The truth can be ugly. The truth can be as graphic and cold as the image of greasing the treads of tanks with our enemies’ guts. The truth is the truth even when people don’t like you when you point it out. The truth is the truth even when it runs afoul to the personal wheelings and dealings and schemes of those in high places.

We need a man like General Patton today. Someone (unlike me) who doesn’t have a 24-7 view of the lead dog’s hind end. I can’t (for a moment) imply that I am the fearless voice of anything. I’m doing good to not freak out just getting up and getting through my day.

I can only hope and pray that someone with conviction and guts and the audacity to stay on the truth track even if he’s the only one on the truth track will (somehow) land in a position of leadership. The only problem with finding people of conviction is, that even in his day, Patton was seen as brash and over the top. There are some who believe that his death in 1945 as a result of a car accident was actually an assassination, and that Patton was conveniently eliminated by the powers above him because he didn’t fit into the Allies’ post war plans. It is well known that Patton didn’t trust the Soviets (a distrust that was well-founded) and he had a greater disdain for Communism than he did for the Nazis. But history has proven him correct in many ways. Perhaps if the right people had listened to what Patton had to say, much of the strife of the Cold War could have been avoided, and Stalin wouldn’t have gained so much power following World War II.

Another hard truth is that history is often told by the winners.

I have much admiration for Winston Churchill, but I always thought the Brits sort of got the short end of the stick.

What would have transpired in the post-war world had General Patton not met with such an unfortunate end? Would he have been able to change the course of the latter half of the 20th century, even in some small way, and if so, would it have been better or worse?

Would confronting Stalin have led to a hot war with the Soviet Union that would have promised to have been as bloody and drawn out as the conquests of Germany and Japan? Or would it have led to a very different post-war landscape in which Eastern Europe would not have suffered under Communist oppression for forty years? Would the Brits have gotten a better deal when all was said and done?

What if (as some historians pose) FDR had passed before the fated Yalta Conference in which he conceded so much of post-war Europe to Stalin? Would Truman have been a better negotiator in that place, given that he was in better health and was a sort of plain, no-nonsense kind of person?

I know that I can’t change the past, but I think it’s important to learn from it. There’s way too much repeating the past and appeasing going on in this world (I need not mention the abomination that is the Obama administration, but I just did…) even though history has proven that feeding alligators only makes them bigger and hungrier.

Sometimes, as Patton said, (referring to the Germans and Japanese,)”The quickest way to get it (war) over with is to go get the bastards who started it. The quicker they are whipped, the quicker we can go home. The shortest way home is through Berlin and Tokyo.”

There is no negotiating with despots. The only way out of a bad situation is through it.

Too bad no one seemed to listen to Patton when he said, “I believe in the old and sound rule that an ounce of sweat will save a gallon of blood.”

We know Obama won’t listen to the hard facts and the truth of history, and his pandering to the despots and terrorists and thugs of this world will cost how many gallons of blood?

Simply Unpredictable, and It’s Not Nice…

November 7, 2014Tonya Lanthron Leave a comment

Frequently I am accused of either changing the subject or coming up with weird stuff out of the clear blue sky. Of course the connections make sense to me, but my particular road map doesn’t have the freeways routed in the same places as yours. I can get to the same places- some faster, some slower, depending upon what freeways I have available to ride.

Oh, cool, there is an I-69! But, why, oh why, is it in Indiana? In the middle of the flat cornfields? Wonder how many of those signs have been stolen? Then again, truckers are probably the only ones on that road, and those boys ain’t stoppin’. Judging from the number of trucker bombs I see along I-270 (this is the Columbus outerbelt, where there are all kinds of exits and usable bathrooms) I can imagine the truckers out in BFE aren’t stopping for anything.

This is not apple juice, Mountain Dew, or lemonade. It’s PISS.

I am trying to curb the temptation to engage in a sort of mental victory dance regarding the Republican sweep of Tuesday’s midterm elections. Obama is now muzzled to a degree, which is definitely a plus, but my worry is whether or not the newly elected Republicans will stand their ground and do what the American people want them to do, which is to stop Obama’s insanity. Republicans should not in any way “cooperate” with the moonbats who are actively destroying this country with overregulation and over taxation. They should close the borders immediately to illegal immigration, and end taxpayer funded payouts to illegals, as well as to terrorist harboring countries and the perennially lazy. They must revitalize and strengthen our military, and put an end to insane political correctness. We who voted for them have to hold their feet to the fire. These affronts to the Constitution and to American people need to be addressed, rooted out, and corrected NOW. Even so, as much as I loathe Obama and what he stands for, and much as I would love to see him rode out on a rail, now he sits as the ultimate poster child for “Why Not to Vote for Democrats.” At this point it would be better to let Obama ride out his term pretty much impotent and toothless and completely bonkers than to impeach him. Hopefully the rancid taste Obama has left in this country’s mouth will extend to Hillary and Obama’s other moonbat crazy cronies in 2016. I have a very strong hope that it will.

I know I engage in sarcasm. All the time. It’s one of the things that keeps me somewhat sane. I am not politically correct. I would not even consider myself to be particularly “nice.” Most of the time, if I’m being overly nice, it’s because I hear my mother (sort of like a Jiminy Cricket) telling me I’m being rude, or that I’m staring again.

I know I’m not nice. Neither is anyone else, should we all be honest about it. That age-old human conflict of good vs. evil is always there, even when I pray in the Lord’s Prayer, “Thy will be done.” “Thy will,” is very seldom “my will,” save for divine intervention.

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned…

I know it was mean to let him keep on shoveling in the cat food, but it was funny. And he wouldn’t have listened to me anyway.

I haven’t been trolling in the postmortem pics a whole lot lately, but I know how wildly popular old pictures of dead people are, as creepy as that is. I had one sitting in my personal archives that I am still sort of wondering about:

Let’s play “Spot the Dead Dude.”

I think they’re both dead, which makes this pic extra creepy. Dude on the right is most certainly dead, or else he’s really, really stoned. As you can see, he’s being propped up on one of those Keith Richards guitar stand type frames. The dude on the left is a bit harder to determine. If he’s not dead, he seems to be way too pleasant for standing that close to a dead dude. Either that or he’s being held up by a broom handle stuck up his ass. You decide.

Trolling for Meaningful Discourse, but Finding Off-Color Cartoons Instead

October 16, 2014Tonya Lanthron 2 Comments

Shame on me for indulging my more banal impulses- in a way.

Have I mentioned that I’m no paragon of virtue?

I should be more worried about any number of more important things, including various and sundry deadly contagious diseases. I’ve never had any respect, love, admiration or anything but animosity toward the current Squatter-in-Chief aka: Obama the Ebola King, (all Hail to the Thief, heh-heh) but now I’m convinced that Obama really does have nothing but malice toward the American people. Why in the flying hell have we been allowing flights to come in from Ebola-harboring locales? Why in the flying hell haven’t our borders been secured a LONG time ago? If B.O. thinks he can executive-order his way through governance, one would think that creating a no-fly list would be a no brainer. Then again, B.O. doesn’t have much of a brain- or his aim is to destroy this country.

If his aim is to trash this country, he’s doing a damned fine job of it. The sad thing is that he’s not alone in his efforts.

The more I stew and steam about Obama’s extreme ineptitude (malice?!) and those in collaboration with him the more I realize that there’s not a damned thing I can do about it. I can wish in one hand and shit in the other and we all know which one will fill up first. All I can do is vote the right way and hope that the lame-ass Secretary of State and Attorney General of Ohio (both supposedly Republicans) have done something to prevent the rampant voter fraud (that I witnessed with my own two eyeballs, but that they both swear up and down didn’t happen in 2012) from happening again.

Now that rant’s over, so I can start on the trivialities.

Such as my current favorite cartoon, Brickleberry. This is classic.

It’s probably not a good thing that I find the concept of farts that smell like Christmas funny, but it could be worse.

Nuts! No Nuts, No Clue, and Screw You Too

August 8, 2014Tonya Lanthron Leave a comment

Naturally good nuts. That’s good, because we wouldn’t want artificial nuts.

Unless you’re the owner of a neutered male dog, and you take his loss of sexual potency way too personally. There are, believe it or not, artificial nuts for neutered dogs.

I’ve never owned a male dog. I’m of the opinion that female dogs generally are smarter, live longer and have fewer overall health problems- even though spaying a female is a lot more expensive and involved than neutering a male. I have encountered more than a few male dogs that would make me hesitate to consider a male dog, but in fairness I’ve also encountered a few that I really liked. I find it really hard to dislike any dog, with the exception of my cousins’ psycho Chihuahua, Andy- but Andy’s been dead for nearly 40 years. If anything, poor Andy was an argument against incessant inbreeding.

You didn’t need them anyway.

I may end up with a male dog someday, but I wouldn’t consider having an intact male, even though neutering doesn’t guarantee placid behavior. Uno, the one-brown, one-blue-eyed, twisted little Shih-Tsu, who used to belong to my mother-in-law, positively tormented poor Isabel (who was a five pound, spayed, elderly, black cat) by chasing her all over the house and attempting to hump her constantly. He was neutered, but that didn’t seem to matter to Uno and his Red Rocket. I was glad when we found that guy a good permanent home- away from Isabel. He was a sweet dog, but humping the cat (aside from being counterproductive) is just plain creepy.

I’ve had three male cats, and they weren’t at all bothered about being nutless. Other than reduced longevity, (and males are bigger) I really don’t see much difference between spayed female cats and neutered male cats. I think the male cats I had were secretly relieved of being culled from the gene pool and therefore set free of the obligation to -well- screw like tomcats.

Thought I was going to post a gratuitous pic of feline copulation, eh?

Since I’m on the subject of nuts, (for what reason I have no idea) I have to comment on the illustrious, nutless wonder who is squatting in the White House. Normally, I can’t stand to listen to Obama speak, and if I feel I must find out what kind of garbage he’s spewing, I just read the transcript later. Unfortunately I was subjected to the Wanna-be-Imperial One’s press conference regarding the Ebola epidemic and his African summit while I was waiting on my car to get serviced at the Toyota dealership. Hindsight being 20/20, I wish that I had remembered my headphones, or that I had decided to wait outside.

Since I sat through every infuriating minute of it, I thought I would offer the rational person’s Cliff’s Notes on this particular address:

Let’s send billions more dollars in “aid” to Africa that will not be (and never is) used to do anything to ameliorate squalor, disease and poverty, but will be squandered on funding terrorists, supporting regional warlords, and empowering garden-variety thugs. While we’re at it, we’re just going to open our borders to every terrorist, scumbag and non-English speaking, uneducated indigent who can manage to traipse on in. Because terrorists need love too? Then the Naked Emperor cries and whines and wonders out loud why American corporations are clamoring to incorporate in foreign countries to avoid the evil IRS and its labyrinthine and oppressive tax system.

Oh, and we can’t send the Ebola medicine to Africa because it’s experimental…and they might die from it. Even though they are almost certainly going to die from the Ebola, why should we try giving a drug that might help? Someone might sue us or something.

Really?

I almost threw up all over the customer lounge. Thankfully by that time, my tire rotation and car wash were done and the service advisor had come to retrieve me. I just hope they torqued my lug nuts to 76 ft lbs. like the owner’s manual suggests.

On the way home I had a few insights on B.O.’s asinine rhetoric.

1. Why are we spending a red dime to support any terrorist harboring country? I don’t give a flying fart in a high wind what’s going on there. It’s not our problem. In fact, as cruel as it sounds, perhaps some of these third world holes could use some thinning of the herd. Especially when foreign aid never seems to get where it’s supposed to go, and the poverty and desolation persists no matter how many billions of dollars are thrown at it.

2. Why do veterans go without medical treatment, and American citizens are taxed so heavily they can’t afford their own healthcare (even though they work for a living) while our government pisses away our tax dollars to support terrorists and others who only want to kill us and send the world back to the Dark Ages? Americans’ money could be better spent on our own infrastructure and military, and to secure our borders against the terrorists and thugs, but what do I know?

3. Why is this illegitimate president still squatting in our White House?

ELYSIANHUNTER, ALWAYS INCITEFUL:

Because comedy is the flipside of tragedy

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