The Fourteen Seasons of Ohio Weather: You Are Here- Satan is Farting In Our General Direction!

Hot, humid. and smells like used Taco Bell.

Did I mention I hate hot weather? At least over half of the year in Ohio involves cold and damp or cold and frozen. Those are easy to navigate because you can keep putting on clothes.

Heat sucks because there is only so much clothing one can safely remove. Even in the privacy of home behind closed doors, when you’re stark naked and still sweating like a whore in church, there’s not much more you can do.

At least I am doing better than right after my hysterectomy. I literally had the AC turned down to 59° – and was still dripping with sweat and tempted to sit in the freezer.

Blue does not care.

I am not sure what possessed me to get a heeler puppy last year. Blue is now a year old. (born 6-4-23) He was 10th out of a litter of 10, and the runt. The vet tech (who I have known 30+ years) laughed her ass off when I called to schedule him for a well check and the last of his puppy shots. Being a rural practice, and many of their customers are sheep farmers, they are very familiar with heelers, and heelers are not their favorite patients.

“You do know heelers are a handful, right?” She giggled about this. She breeds Rottweilers, and compared to heelers, they have a really mellow personality.

I replied, “But I have a Catahoula, and I know you remember Clara- the Malinois.”

“Oh, yeah. If you can hang with a Mal, you can take a heeler easy.”

I think the characterization of heelers, (or more accurately, Australian Cattle Dogs) as “miniature redneck Malinois” is pretty accurate.

Blue is a sweet boy. He will always be on the small side for a heeler- 35# and he’s likely done growing. He’s always active, always in motion, but not as serious as a Mal. He likes people and other dogs. And there is a hell of a mind behind those so brown they’re almost black eyes. 

Dogs make me happy. People, most of the time, not so much.

This is my attitude toward a disturbingly large swath of humanity.

God Bless This Dumpster Fire

Story of my life.

I’ve always been that person who just plods through whatever  and then breaks down when the crisis is over. I’m the one who can’t cry at a funeral but completely loses my shit twenty years later because my mind went wandering that way for no apparent reason.

This morning I had to take Bruce back to Columbus for another scan, another stop on his fight against cancer that began suddenly last November. That is another saga that is difficult and painful enough for me to observe even though I am not the one with the disease.

Take the Cologuard commercial seriously, folks, because the alternative isn’t pretty or fun.

I despise rush hour traffic even more perhaps than when it was a daily thing for me. I don’t miss living in the city or navigating in it, but I can do it if I need to.

We left early, so I took the back roads. It was refreshing to enjoy the view on one of those rare clear sunny days out in the sticks and to avoid most of the freeway traffic.

It was nice to step away from the dumpster fire for a moment.

I take comfort in the fact that this world, this life is not the end. The visual of Job digging at his sores with potsherds or of the dogs licking Lazarus’ wounds doesn’t sound as horrible when I realize trials aren’t permanent. God has lessons for us in them even when we don’t get it and can’t see beyond the pain.

Itching definitely sucks.

Pain is real, but it is also temporary.

It is an unfortunate consequence of both my ethnic background and my own messed up wiring that no matter how messed up a situation is, the knee-jerk response is to just say, “I’m fine.”

Not by a long shot.

If this life were a charter cruise, I would have to decline to recommend it. But my enjoyment isn’t the point of the endeavor.

Welcome to the Apocalypse, Take #354,427 (or so) We’re All Gonna Die!

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Got news for everyone.  The mortality rate is still 100%.  You’re gonna die of something.

The current pestilence- the coronavirus- is more or less a really bad flu.  It isn’t gonna kill most people. Millions of people get the flu every year and several thousand die from it.  That’s every year.  Four thousand or thereabouts die of flu every year just in Ohio.  So much for living in fly over country serving to any advantage.

I have my suspicions, and frankly I believe the dreaded coronavirus already made its rounds around here back in January when about 70% of my coworkers- all the outside sales people who were in one meeting, and all the accounting department- all got a really bad flu that held on for about 3 weeks.  One of the accounting ladies ended up in the ICU for a couple of days, but even she recovered. Yeah, that was a bad flu, and believe it, I had the Lysol spraying madness the whole time these people were wandering in and out in their various states of illness.  By the grace of God somehow I didn’t get it, but I stayed the flying hell away from everyone, even more than I normally do. I’m all about social distancing. You don’t have to tell me twice to put at least 6 to 10 feet between me and other people. I prefer it. Especially when I have Lysol to spray.

But since it’s an election year, let’s take a page from the Marxist handbook (desperate Democrats) and never let a good crisis go to waste.  Let’s attempt to destroy the economy, while blaming it on a particularly bad flu season, and try to sell socialism that way.

It will backfire.  The crisis will end, sooner rather than later, and that’s all I really have to say about that. I hope and pray that all the overreacting will serve as even more fuel to pour on the dumpster fire that is being created by the Democrats and their corrupt enablers.

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Granted I don’t want to see people die.  I particularly loathe respiratory illness because I have chronic sinus issues even when I am well. My biggest fear is strep throat (which could be more lethal to me than any flu because of my history with rheumatic fever.)  So yeah, I wash my hands and use a lot of sanitizer anyway, especially in the winter when I am surrounded by the hacking and coughing multitudes.  I get the flu and pneumonia shots. I don’t like being in crowds or in loud places and avoid them when I can.  I’m not a huggy-feeler either, and I don’t go around fingering people, or kissing on strangers so I have that in my favor.

The bottom line even with precautions taken – and I have a sharp eye for the macabre as it is- is that we are all gonna die of something. 

I’ve already defied the longevity odds for a person with autism.  The average age of death for a person with autism is 37 years. I made it to 51. Yay me!  To be honest though, I remember my doctor telling me once when I was 30 that if I didn’t do a whole lot of things differently I wouldn’t make it to 35. I did change my lifestyle to a certain degree. Now I know why, but still, the fact that even with a boatload of meds that I am still vertical and sucking up valuable oxygen amazes me sometimes.

Part of the abysmal longevity projections for autistics, I am sure, is that we have a horrendously high suicide rate, as well as a plethora of co-morbid conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, various physical and mental illnesses, lack of social support, and the list goes on.

But coming from the perspective of an autistic, I think I can explain why we die very young.  We aren’t made to live in your world.

Of course everyone experiences stress.  But “normal” people don’t experience the stress of trying to live in a world that isn’t made for them.  Autistic people have to adapt to the “normal” world in much the same way as space travelers have to adapt to the unnatural atmosphere of space.

Some of us learn to navigate almost seamlessly- you can’t see the space suit or the oxygen mask- but they’re there.  We script.  We mask. We mirror.  We do what you do and perfect our acting skills…and it takes a ton of energy to hold up the faςade. Over time this takes a toll.  We have hypertension. We have stress headaches. We deal with anxiety 24/7 because we can’t script, mask and mirror forever without stepping away from time to time.

Those of us who can’t learn to navigate are even worse off than those who can. Those of us who are non-verbal and/or who have cognitive or severe physical deficits on top of autism are at the mercy of the medical industry (whose only “care” is the almighty dollar) or even worse, the public educational system whose lack of common sense and dearth of efficacy is only equaled by its lack of care.  So for people like me- you either figure out things and navigate for yourself, and live with an eternal stress meter pegged out on 11, or you’re doomed to a life of marginalized, institutionalized poverty.

No wonder autistic people die young.

And yeah, every single human being out there, whether you’re “normal” or autistic, we’re all gonna die.

Get used to it.