horse meat

Ghosts of the Machines, and Horse Meat in the Dog Food

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The town where I grew up was doomed. It became a falling behemoth even before I understood that the world around me was crumbling beneath my feet, and a once prosperous town had faded into ignonimy, becoming known more as a haven for welfare slackers and a hotbed of heroin activity than as an industrial powerhouse.

I grew up amidst the towering smoke stacks, the perpetually clanging, moving factories, and with the constant sounds of the trains- the rhythmic clack-clack, the dull roar of the diesel engines, and the mournful braying of the whistles. The trains were the unwitting instruments playing the muted symphony of the night, coming from anywhere, going to nowhere- everywhere and nowhere all at the same time- as if in defiance of the laws of time and space.

When I was very young the air was dirty. On the rare days where there was no wind, a thick stagnant gray haze hung in the air like a pall. There was a pervasive slimy, smoky film that coated windows and adhered to curtains and windowsills should one dare to open the windows. Should the wind blow from the southwest, (which happens often in summer) one would get a foul whiff of the various odors of rendering and not-so-fresh flesh emanating from the Ken-L-Ration dog food factory (believe it or not, a subsidiary of Quaker Oats.)

This was an imposing, windowless facility where horses were once slaughtered, transformed into a pasty, meaty muck, (hooves, ears, and shall we say, all the “not fit for human consumption” bits included) and packed into tin cans with bright, colorful labels that reassured dog owners that this horse paste was 100% Balanced Nutrition for Your Dog!

ken-l-ration

Eh, so it’s canned dog food.

ken-l-ration ingredients

At least they were straight about what was in it. Unlike the UK lasagna.

You don’t want to know what a “by-product” is. Suffice to say that a “meat by-product” in the 1950s could be anything from roadkill, to dead livestock, to lips and assholes.

NASA-Crawler

Then there was the Marion Power Shovel, whose last great hurrah was building the crawler that moved the space shuttle. In its heyday the Power Shovel complex cut a five-mile long stretch along the west end of town. Now most of the buildings have been demolished. A few have been repurposed as either warehouses or trucking depots. The skeletons of the massive outdoor cranes that once moved parts of power shovels and other large machines down the assembly line still stand as silent witnesses to a time when the survival of the free world hinged upon the industrial might of America. Now the existence of either the “free world” or the “might of America” is decaying and becoming more and more a distant memory, just like those abandoned factories.

cranes

By 1980, the industrial machine that had functioned so mightily- for a hundred years- collapsed upon itself.

I can name a plethora of reasons why half the population was gone in four years, with three-quarters of the factories either having gone out of business entirely, relocating to the southern right-to-work states, or relocating to foreign countries. I can say the fall was brought on by union greed, or excessive taxation and regulation, or the changes in the world economy, or the cost of energy, but to be honest it wasn’t any one factor that led to the fall, but the perfect storm that brewed when all of the above converged.

Now my home town is little more than a crumbling, dead monument to the industrial revolution, long since passed by, and the only constant is the sound of the trains, still everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

downtownmarion

That, and it was once the home of President Harding. Harding is much maligned among many historians. He was a tomcat, he had shady friends, and for a time he was a card carrying member of the Ku Klux Klan. But, to his credit, he did keep the budget balanced, and he was well-liked during his term of office. He was so well-liked right after he died that school kids saved up their pennies and dimes and people raised money to build him a memorial that is only slightly less opulent than the Washington, Lincoln and Jefferson monuments.

The Harding Memorial is rather expansive, and very cool to visit- if you can find it. It’s on Ohio 423, on the south side of town, on the east side of the road.

hardingmemorial2

If You Only Knew What’s in Food, You’d Never Eat Again

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horsemeatToday I am glad I don’t live in the UK.  Or at least that I didn’t eat frozen lasagna in the UK.

2219_findus-horse-lasagna-130208-findusCheddar cheese on lasagna?  That’s almost as bad as eating Mr. Ed!

Maybe I shouldn’t be so critical.   I love the Brits in most things, but  English food is scary as hell to begin with, at least to American sensibilities.  It’s not necessarily dangerous to eat horse meat, but it is culturally taboo, even in the UK where people eat really nasty sounding things like blood pudding and kidney pie and haggis.  I think as far as frozen lasagna goes I’ll stick with the Stouffer’s red-box stuff.  It may be mystery meat, but it’s still some tasty stuff.

Stouffer's_LasagnaThey don’t claim that the meat is beef.  It’s just “meat” which could be anything.

I think if we really knew what was in food we would never eat again.

 ???????????????????????????????Gravy happens.  And this stuff looks like puke. I want to know who tasted it to verify that it “tastes like beef stew.”  Used beef stew?

When my Dad was growing up on the west side of Marion, there was a dog food manufacturing plant about 2 miles from where he and my grandparents lived.  In the 1950’s horse meat was a major ingredient in dog food, as well as carcasses of various livestock. Back then, pretty much any meat source that could be rendered down was used in dog food.  The dog food plant closed down in the early 1980’s, (long after it had been made illegal to use horse meat in dog food) but I can still remember the stench of that joint if the wind was blowing the wrong way.  It was not a pleasant smell.

One night the horses they were keeping to slaughter the next day got out and followed the railroad tracks to my grandparents’ house.  Dad woke up and was screaming about horses running through the back yard.  Grandpa thought Dad was nuts until he saw the horses for himself.

Sometimes I almost get the vegans’ argument against eating anything with a face.  I couldn’t imagine eating an animal like a horse or a dog if I put a face on it, but then I remember that cats are obligatory carnivores, and I remember that most humans who espouse vegan eating really aren’t as healthy as they want to suggest, mentally or physically.  I just don’t think that smelling like an abattoir, (in spite of not eating meat?) having grey, scaly skin, braid-able hair on the armpits and legs, and straw-like scarecrow hair sticking up from one’s head are indicators of health.  Nor do I think wiping with reusable cloths or burying my car is a good idea to “save the planet” either.  I like an occasional Porterhouse steak.  I like my leather shoes,  I like to remove superfluous body hair, and I’d rather be dead than have dreadlocks.

hippies2Never trust the unbathed.

I understand meat-eating is a cultural thing.  Personally I find the thought of eating dogs highly offensive, but they do it in Asia.  I have no problem with eating rabbits, squirrels or deer, while some people I know think that’s the grossest thing ever.  I don’t care for lamb or mutton, but the dogs love it.  Supposedly that’s what their food is based on, but I really don’t want to know what’s in dog food.  It’s bad enough to consider what’s in food meant for humans.

meatyI found a taste tester.

I could save a lot of money this way.  Just shut up and eat it.  You just don’t want to know.