Whine Country- The Tour Guide

I’ve always believed travel to be more edifying when I have some background information.  My daily (or whenever I feel like it) rantings are part of a story which is easier to understand if you have a few navigational helps.

Geographically, Whine Country is located slightly east of beautiful Columbus Ohio.  There are better places and worse places than the Central Ohio area, but if you must be in Ohio this is one of the better places.  Northeast Ohio is a haven for liberal nut jobs who keep on voting in the same Democrats who ran the place into the ground, which makes no sense to me.  Perhaps the cold up there has frozen their brains.  That’s the only explanation I have for Dennis Kucinich.  So I don’t see myself living in Northeast Ohio because the liberal nut jobs and union lackeys would drive me nuts.   I like Cincinnati and would probably move there if I could afford it, (more history, more conservatives, and the scenery is better) but I know my way around here.  Besides, if I am surrounded by too many people like me (at least politically and ideologically,) I might forget just how screwed up the rest of the world really is.

Jerry is my illustrious “better half.”  I give him nine kinds of shit in my commentary here for two reasons: 1.) he’s too computer illiterate to find this blog, and b.) he completely deserves it.  Don’t get me wrong, I love him, but he is extremely high maintenance.  That’s part of what makes my musings on him and his behavior so entertaining.  If he would give up the beers, he might actually function and act like a normal human being.  Yeah, right.  I’ll let him know that as soon as he’s done pissing in the closet.

Steve-o is my Precious Only Male Child.  For some reason a co-worker of mine made the mistake of telling Steve-o (when he was only five or six years old) that he looked like a perfect specimen of Hitler Youth.  The pisser is, he does.  Somehow I can’t see where that would be taken as a point of pride.  I can only hope his hair gets darker as he gets older, or, like my Dad- it will probably all fall out.

Steve-o is the most politically incorrect person I know, and he is even more right-wing than I am.  He also claims to be the Straightest Man in the World.  Just ask him.  I’m just trying to get him through college (he’s studying automotive technology, poor sucker) and my goal as a parent is to see that he’s literate, potty trained, and gainfully employed.  Two out of three ain’t bad, but I will be elated when he is finally supporting himself.  I’m not getting any younger.

I tried to tell him the Germans lost, but he wanted to try on the SS helmet anyway.

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