The Mid-Winter Funk and it’s No Wonder…

Statistically speaking, more people die in February, and fewer people are born in February than in the other 11 months of the year.   Fewer February births don’t surprise me as there are two fewer days for said births to occur.  A child born in February (assuming a normal 40 week gestation) would have been conceived  in May.   Who bothers to get busy on the rare occasions when the weather’s nice?  Most people are thinking about doing the horizontal mambo in the fall and winter when there’s nothing better to do, especially for those who don’t have cable.  That’s why most people are born in the summer.  There’s not much good on cable in the late spring and summer.  Even so, the statistics that indicate there are more deaths in February, especially taking into consideration there are two fewer days to die, are what really intrigue me.   

My birthday is coming up in about three weeks.  I was born in February, probably because cable was unknown in 1968.  I feel sorry for my Dad.  Since Mom is Catholic and I’m their third and final child, I would naturally assume he hasn’t seen any action since May, 1968.  No wonder he’s cranky.  For those who aren’t aware, for Catholics,  sex is pretty much always a sin unless you are a.) doing the nasty with your spouse (also true for most Protestants), b.) doing the nasty with procreation as your goal, and c.) you’re NOT enjoying it.   It’s OK for Protestants to actually enjoy sex, as long as you’re married to the one you’re doing it with.

Suffice to say I am not Catholic.   I am currently (involuntarily…) celibate but that’s not because I have any objections to sex for the enjoyment of it.  I go without because the old man’s impotent.   I have no problem at all with  barrier method birth control (which is again a moot point at least for me as I had a hysterectomy) or pretty much any kind of erotic pursuits within marriage, and I have no problem at all with enjoying it.  The fact that I personally can’t enjoy such things really sucks but that’s just how it is.  

I wonder if Catholic women are allowed to do the dirty deed at all after menopause because there is no chance of procreation?   I guess you could cite the Biblical story of Abraham and Sarah (she was 90 years old and had a kid) as a technicality, but to me the very idea of dried up little old Catholic priests telling women how to repress their sexuality is just plain twisted.    Believe me, if I could, I would, and I would make it a point to enjoy it.

What a strange subject. 

This time of year in Ohio at least is depressing.  There’s very little sunlight, it always seems to be overcast, dark and cold, the holidays are over, and springtime (what passes for springtime here anyway,) won’t be on the horizon for at least another month or probably two.   It doesn’t usually get warm around here until the end of May- then it goes from 40 degree high temperatures to 80’s and 90’s almost overnight. 

I don’t like going out after dark, so I don’t do a whole lot other than go to work in the winter.  I do what I deem to be essential household chores at home but not much else.  The cold doesn’t bother me nearly as much as the dark.  In fact the cold is a Godsend when I am dealing with these hot flashes- I’ve been known to go outside and stand in the freezing cold to get some relief,  but it’s the dark that makes it so nasty.  The rain and other assorted precipitation that seems endless and inevitable in winter doesn’t help either.  In fact if the weather forecasts are correct (and that’s a long shot two days out) we are in for another blast of the Great White Death this weekend.  At least if there is six inches of snow on the ground I have another good excuse to stay inside and watch TruTV and play games on the DS.

I eagerly await the beginning of Daylight Savings Time.  It might actually be light out for a bit after I get off work again then. 

I never could figure out why people wait to bug me until a.) I am in the crapper, or b.) I’m at lunch.  But if I ignore the pesky situation until after lunch  it inevitably becomes a disaster.  That’s depressing too.  Sometimes it takes every ounce of restraint I have to keep from throttling people for being stupid and/or having crappy timing. 

Perhaps the real pisser regarding this time of year is that there’s really not much to look forward to.  Just more bland, damp, dark winter.  


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