Spring Cleaning at the Dirty Movie Store, What Irony!

The Lions’ Den is a chain of  “adult superstores” (read: porn shops) in Central Ohio.  If you want skin mags, adult films, or sex toys, this is the WalMart of porn.  This is the Morse Rd. Lions’ Den that I drive past every day so I couldn’t help but notice the irony of the promotion.  Spring cleaning in the dirty book store seems almost counter intuitive when you’re peddling smut, although they really don’t sell too many books any more except for a handful of skin mags.  Today’s sex fiends are into DVDs and interactive toys- as well as the S&M stuff and the furry costumes.  Perversion has changed with the times.

One might ask how do I know what sort of wares can be had at the superstore of porn.  I’ve been in there- though it wasn’t the Lions’ Den on Morse Rd- I went in the one somewhere off of I-71 on the way back from Cincinnati.  Steve-o wanted to check it out.  All I need is for the guys at work to see my car in the Lions’ Den parking lot.  It’s hard to keep a straight face (great, I used the word “hard” while speaking of an excursion into the porn emporium) as you scan the items for sale.  I sort of liked the little ice cube tray that makes ice cubes shaped like a “twig and berries” so to speak.  I would almost have bought that just to see the look on Mom’s face when she realized there were miniature peckers floating about in her iced tea.  The only problem with that is she is such a prude she would probably have a coronary.

Americans have such an ambivalent view of anything that pertains to sex.  Personally I don’t see anything wrong with married couples using sex toys and the like if that’s what floats your boat.  Now the movies are a whole different deal- that stuff is nasty and let’s face it there’s something sophomoric and puerile about watching total strangers in bizarre sex acts.

I don’t think there is anything noble about being a prude, nor do I think there is anything particularly ennobling about being a pervert.  A balance, and a sense of humor about it is a good thing.

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