Nobody likes change. Even when it’s change for the better, and especially if it short circuits their own personal power trip.
I am conservative by nature, so if I see a need to make a change or to be innovative, most of the time it’s well justified, and to me, at least, a no-brainer. Unfortunately in life one has to deal with those who are more concerned about getting their own way and controlling others than they are about anything else- including getting things done more efficiently, being profitable, and other such practical things. Some people only care about getting their own way and trashing other people to build themselves up in their own minds. It’s even worse when they have a gullible audience in high places.
This is what happened yesterday, and that pretty much made me blow a gasket and go to the zoo for a minute. I take what I do seriously, and I don’t abide unjustified criticism, especially from a rude young punk, well. There are few things I loathe more than a.) someone nosing about in my business, and b.) demanding that I change a more efficient way of doing things to feed his personal ego and score brownie points. The worst part of this is that person did get his way (nepotism has its perks) and I just had my status as his personal shit box reinforced.
I can go into a plethora of details on that and how much it pisses me off, but suffice to say the man is probably so pussy whipped at home that I’m the only woman he can safely attack. I don’t know whether I should have pity on that situation or not. Right now, I think he deserves what he got- a controlling wife and her Italian family- in spades. That is not going to be a fun divorce when it happens. And it will.
I refuse to play the power game. I know power is addicting and I understand the mindset all too well. I was a ruthless bitch in business and in life for many years and it took a health crisis and an episode of major depression to get it through my head that power tripping is no way to live, and that manipulating others doesn’t really give me much of the jollies.
The only person who I have to compete with is myself. It doesn’t harm me when other people do well, but when other people simply tear me down to make themselves look good, (and the powers that be either can’t or won’t see through that game) that pisses me off. Throwing other people under the bus just because you can is the hallmark of insecurity, and I know it all too well- because in my insecure youth, I used to play that game too.
I don’t expect other people to do everything exactly the same way I do. It would be awkward for them, just as it is awkward and frustrating for me to accommodate frivolous bullshit to feed some jackwagon’s power trip. But I don’t make those sorts of demands on others, because they serve no practical purpose.
The more I think about it, the more I am determined not to let the stupidity of others aggravate me any more than is absolutely necessary.
And Einstein once said that insanity is repeating the same things over and over and expecting different results.
I’m not going to let stupidity win out. Yes, I get pissed and I get despondent, but I also know how easy it is for me to overreact when certain buttons go off. That’s why before I actually do anything I have to vent, think things through and plan a course of action. I’m not an impulsive type, after all.