Something Missing, Something Wrong

winter-scene-john-junek

I loved you the best that I was able.  I could never be the fawning admirer you wanted.  I could not bring myself to that depth of surrender.  I am not good at putting up faςades.  I wasn’t really made for maudlin sentiment or to shower forth vapid praise.

I became jaded and pragmatic and utilitarian out of practicality and necessity.  Living in the embers of unrequited love is just too bitter if you hold on to baseless optimism.  Some things are once in a lifetime offers, and once that flower blooms and fades it’s gone forever.

Even so, I remember.  I remember in vivid, living, breathing color.  I remember all too much and all too well beneath the banality of day to day, in my raw core, beneath the faςades I have to maintain. We were for a moment lost in that timeless, breathless universe of two, where time stopped and for a moment there was only you and me.  This we cannot deny, and I cannot forget.

I remember the intensity, the passion, and the fire.  I know you remember too.  I walk through your dreams. I’m there when you least expect me, a reminder of what was, what could have been, and what will never be.

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