Deep and Philosophical Questions- Or Not!

spongebob tampon

I just about spit coffee out my nose when I saw this meme.


Which one will last longer?  My carcass or an unopened Twinkie?

It is fabled that Twinkies will last over thirty years if unwrapped, but the official word from the Hostess company is that they only have a shelf life of 45 days.  I may only have a shelf life of 45 days. Who knows?

Jerry has a thing for Twinkies right now, which is good because at least there is something he will eat.  I’ve never seen anyone as picky about food in my life.  I shouldn’t lose my patience so easily with him because I know he is dealing with chronic pain and illness, but sometimes he can really get on my last nerve.  I don’t play well with others to begin with, so I have to cut him some slack.  It helps if I get a bit of ivory tower time so I can recharge and don’t have to be constantly on guard.  That’s my particular weakness- I can only deal with the rest of humanity in very small doses.  Age and time is not improving that peculiarity of mine at all. If anything I need more time alone to simply stay sane, and that is a disturbing trend.


I  don’t know it all.  But shutting up is usually a default for me.  I’m really good at the silent treatment.

Jerry went to the campground and won’t be back until tomorrow.  So I am enjoying a little secret pleasure of blasting some Metallica (which he can’t stand.)  Normally I am not a hard core metal head- but I have my moments.  I’ll probably switch back to some Journey or some of Neal Schon’s solo stuff in awhile to mellow out.  But for now, I am having some fun with James Hetfield asking the question, “Am I Evil?”  Yes.  Humanity is evil.  There you go.


James Hetfield can actually sing rather than scream.


littering and

Smokin’ the Reefer…

I think weed should not only be legal, they should just hand it out randomly.  Pass it around like the junk mail circulars one gets in the mail every day. Why?  Do potheads go out and commit random crime?  Hell no. They get mellow, call the pizza dude, eat everything in the fridge and then blissfully pass out.  Nice and mellow and thank God, quiet.  Potheads aren’t out there doing violent crime.  They’re on the couch, laughing their ass off to whatever History Channel documentary (the all- Hitler-all-the-time-network, I think sometimes) or whatever Monty Python flick they can find on Netflix.  Until they pass out at about 8 or 9 pm.  That’s my kind of partier.

I can’t wait for the state of Ohio to get with the 21st century and legalize pot.  I don’t care for pot at all- it makes me tired and hungry and depressed.  I’ve not bothered with pot since I was in college back in the 80s.  I have a hard enough time staying awake without smoking something that puts me to sleep.  I never enjoyed the pot buzz, but I can clearly see the advantages of smoking pot for people like Jerry who are both hyper and deal with chronic pain. It could even help with him chronically being an asshole late at night.  Smoking a nice big bowl of ganga might be enough for him to settle down and shut up and pass out early so I can get some sleep.  I don’t do late nights worth a shit, and I’m really tired of getting woke up at all hours of the night listening to him whine and bitch- and play Eminem.


Reason #11-

So Jerry can get high, pass out early and I can get some mother effing sleep!

2 thoughts on “Deep and Philosophical Questions- Or Not!

  1. Legalize it! Obviously, I’m biased, but I’d like to see pot legalized everywhere. It’s only quasi-legal where I live, so every year I have to pay a doctor to renew my prescription. It’s a bit of a scam, really.
    I love the way Twinkies & dingdongs & cupcakes taste, but I really can’t eat them. I’m overweight (meaty by American standards, grossly obese by European standards), and it takes some effort just to maintain my current “shape.” I guess I’m fortunate that I really don’t get the munchies anymore.
    It’s nice that you have a Jerry-break, although I didn’t realize that he had chronic pain. I wonder if weed would help with that? I know he drinks, and in my experience, alcohol is better for pain relief than weed, but I’m not sure that’s true of everybody.

    • Interestingly enough, I think on the occasions when Jerry actually does score some weed his behavior and outlook are a LOT better than when he’s drunk. He has rheumatoid arthritis which really, really sucks. He’s on several prescribed meds for that, but nothing seems to calm him down and mellow him out like weed does.

      Rheumatoid is also part of the reason he has a really crappy appetite and is such a picky eater. Nothing tastes good to him, so he doesn’t eat nearly as much as he should, so he has lost weight, which the Dr.s don’t want him to do. I guess at Jerry’s age if you have RA it’s not very good to be 5’10” and only 170#. People with RA also tend to burn right through calories- which makes that situation worse. He has to eat like a hog just to maintain (sometimes I wish I had that little problem) so when he gets picky and peckish he loses weight which makes the RA even worse. I wondered if maybe getting him to go from Natty Lite to Budweiser might help from a calorie standpoint, but he says Budweisers give him the shits. That would be counterproductive then.

      So I keep trying to entice him to eat with bacon and Twinkies and chocolate covered Twinkies and greasy burgers and chunks of cheese, and all the crap I don’t dare eat myself. If I ate half as much as he eats even now my ass would be bigger than my car. That part of it just isn’t fair. I eat stuff like salads and oatmeal- to keep from looking like livestock.

      Yes, I think people who would benefit from weed should be allowed to have it. I think the world would be a much quieter and peaceful place- I know my world would be a lot quieter and peaceful if Jerry were high all the time.

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