Involuntarily Celibate…and Tolerating It

I know when younger guys watch those commercials for pharmaceuticals such as Viagra and Cialis they must think to themselves, “that will never happen to me.”  I hate to tell you, boys, but the odds are that at some point in your life your Johnson will experience a major failure.  Especially if you like to drink and smoke.

I know I’m no prize, but I also know there are a lot fuglier women than me out there who are getting better than coyote style (lie beside the hole and howl) and there are times that it really pisses me off that Jerry refuses to do anything about his ED.  It’s simply another smack in the face to go along with all the other ones- the constant bitching, the constant mooching, the constant drunk and stupid episodes, and the constant efforts to keep me from having any kind of life that doesn’t directly involve kissing his ass.

If I remember right (yes, it has been that long) in the proper context, I enjoy under the sheets activities.  Which is probably why Jerry has made no effort to do anything about his malfunctioning Johnson.  If I hated sex he would be the first one running right out to get the pecker pump and the Viagra and the “fix a dick” surgery. 

I don’t enjoy involuntary celibacy. It’s just another reminder of all the things in my life that are dysfunctional, and all the things that suck, for which there is no shortage.  But there are worse problems.

At least he’s not bedridden or completely senile- yet.  He will be one of those old people who will be perfectly physically healthy well into his 90’s (except Johnson doesn’t work, but how many men over age 50 actually have working Johnsons?- probably not very many anyway) but whose brain will atrophy and decay to the size of an acorn so he will become senile and crazy as a shithouse rat.   He is already on the fast track for both of those. I am already becoming one of those old people whose mind is relatively sound but whose body is going to hell fast. 

At least I can look on the bright side.  I am not at risk for ANY STDs!

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