I swear I didn’t send yesterday’s list with Jerry to the Dr.’s office- the one with the line about scheduling a colonoscopy and prostate exam with Extreme Prejudice. It was a tempting thought, but I restrained myself. He still has to schedule the colonoscopy, but he got his prostate exam right there. I had to assure Jerry that no, it’s not a full arm ordeal like what Mike Rowe had to do to cows on Dirty Jobs. It might feel like a full arm ordeal, but hey, it’s all about your health. At least now we know that’s not where Jimmy Hoffa ended up. Besides, look at what women are supposed to have done every year once they turn 21. And guys whine because they have to have their nether parts inspected from time to time once they turn 50. Get over it, boys.
I should try to find Jerry some of those full-arm veterinary gloves just in the name of humor.
I shouldn’t be grinning like the Cheshire Cat, but it’s sort of funny in a way. Maybe that’s what the Cheshire Cat thought to be so funny- a sort of cosmic justification. Now you see, grasshopper, a little bit of what the other side sees.
I can verify that the exam Jerry had yesterday involved probably only one finger if the illustration is correct. Unless he was mistaken for a horse. Then it’s back to the veterinary gloves.
I am glad that Monsoon season here in Central Ohio is at least giving way to warm temperatures with the rain. It’s almost time for the dogwoods to bloom, and I look forward to that every year.
The rose bushes are actually getting leaves on them and hopefully they will be budding soon. I gave them some of that rose food stuff last night. Jerry was still hyper and all traumatized last night so I ended up doing various chores to shut him up. I really hate that because I am dead tired in the evening, and the last thing I want to do is sweep up leaves and crap but he did clear out the front flower beds so I can get some annuals and some mulch to finish them off- when it stops raining for a few hours again.
So I will have to have a triple threat evening tonight- hair, face Nair, and nails. Hopefully he will decide to leave me alone long enough to get these things done. I would hate to have bushier eyebrows and a thicker beard than his. I’ve done them all in the same night before. It’s worth it not to overly frighten young children and dogs. I would be afraid of some old geezer lady like myself too, especially when the facial hair and the Unibrow gets out of control. Nasty. Trust me on that one.
A good friend of mine once told me to be careful what I wish for. I understand what he means by that- sometimes what we might think to be a blessing ends up being a curse. Reality might not be what I wish for, but as Mick Jagger put it, “You can’t always get what you want/You can try sometimes/You just might find/You get what you need.” Again, the pragmatic approach works here. Take what you’re given and run with it and don’t spend a whole lot of time and energy lamenting the roads not traveled or the opportunities missed. Sometimes what we thought we wanted wasn’t what we needed at all, and something we would have never wanted ends up being exactly what we needed. I’ll try to remember that little cosmic tidbit the next time Isabel decides to puke on the kitchen counter or some other completely inappropriate place.
Wish in one hand, shit in the other- which one fills up first? And cat puke is universal.
I’m hoping for a quiet and peaceful weekend, and maybe a moment or two of solitude here and there. I need some ivory tower time. I’ve not gotten much of that lately and it shows. Perhaps I will have more time to troll the National Archives website and look at pictures, if that doesn’t get shut down this weekend. I just thought of that. Then again, I will always find something to do in my solitude. Drawing- I enjoy drawing, but hardly ever do it anymore, or cross-stitch, or perhaps revisiting one of the many books in my collection. Who knows? I enjoy the quiet and the autonomy more than anything.