A Timely Technology Tutorial

headphones

There are wireless, waterproof headphones available that can help you to honor both my serenity and your listening pleasure.  They are not expensive.

Please consider buying a set.

Ok.  I admit I have a huge problem with having my personal space invaded.  That should come as no surprise to those who know me.  Even to the majority of the people I deal with everyday who have no idea that I am autistic (or who are even aware of what high-functioning autism is) it’s obvious I am not a warm and fuzzy grabby-kissy type.  I deal with people best sparingly, and at greater than arm’s length.  It’s not you.  It’s me.

When I go to the “Y” early in the morning (and by early morning, I mean 5:15 AM when the place opens) I have a few simple objectives- to swim laps, do strength training in the pool, shower, dress and get the hell on my way.  I like to do these things in as much peace and quiet as possible. I wear earplugs in the pool for two reasons- one, so I don’t get water in my ears, and two, because they play that odious pop radio station that is somehow considered “work appropriate” but has obnoxiously fake cheery DJs and is a constant reminder to me that yes, the 80’s had bad music too, and some people are still playing it.  Along with bad pop music from the 90’s and 2000’s as well.

Given that I am both autistic (which can make me sensitive to things other people don’t notice) and that I used to play music, I understand why I am a bit picky about what I choose to listen to. I don’t try to make it an issue, and I don’t impose my personal choices on others.  I am sure a solid majority of women would not like to be treated to Metallica’s Battery at full volume at 6:30AM in the shower, so please don’t subject me to The Chipmunks on Crack do Cindy Lauper’s Greatest Hits or whatever that horrible shit is- regardless of the time of day.

This being said, I think it is incredibly rude for people to randomly pollute the air with whatever dreck they find appealing, especially in public spaces- such as a public shower. That’s one place where playing Vomitrocious Hip Hop Dance Fiesta as rendered by Spanky Fartwhistle and the WTF Orchestra cranked up as high as your phone speakers will go is highly inappropriate.  I can’t account for your vapidity, tone deafness, or your bad taste, but I shouldn’t have to suffer for it either.

Yes, there are wireless waterproof headphones available for virtually any budget.  This piece of technology was developed precisely for you, oh, early morning connoisseurs of crappy music.  Please consider using them.

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