OK to be fair and because meine Muttersprache ist Englisch, here’s what I’m saying. “I am not ready yet, but sometimes dead is better.”
I am not suicidal. I will clear the air on that immediately. What I mean is that I am not ready to let go of the past- especially the good stuff- but some things need to be allowed to fade. Some things are best left in the past, where they’re supposed to live. It just doesn’t make sense sometimes when certain things outstay their welcome. You see these old rock and rollers trying to act like it’s still 1980, or worse yet, trying to modernize themselves.
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t want to see someone who was absolutely stellar in their own era try to pretend to be a gangster rapper, or worse. There are some things that just don’t age well, some things that need to be left where they were. There’s something to be said for bowing out graciously. There’s something to be said for maintaining a certain level of dignity, where you acknowledge that you’ve done great things in the past, but also that you’ve moved on. I think there’s a deep level of respect in that. But maybe that’s just me.
Stephen King wrote a novel a long time ago called “Pet Sematary.” The theme of that novel was that sometimes when you try to bring back something you loved, you bring back something really terrible. Death is part of the natural cycle, and when you try to break it, you really mess things up.
I really get caught up on the “Ich bin noch nicht bereit.” I’m not ready. It’s hard for me to let go, harder than even I’m willing to admit at times. I don’t want to let time pass, like it has to. But I don’t have a choice.
I don’t necessary want or need to see seventy something performers pretending they are still in their twenties. I would rather remember what was than to see a version of sonething that was never meant to hang on.
Maybe that’s selfish on my part but maybe it makes sense. It’s one thing if there’s evolution and development, but fifty year old leftovers are tired. I don’t want to be a leftover version of myself in 1980-whatever either. If you missed the moment create another one. Or reinvent yourself again.
Time to start inventing.
