car wreck

Although I have recently expressed my disdain of TV news, even I can be reeled in by gratuitous displays of the macabre. Especially at 5:45 AM. Though details are sketchy, the scuttlebutt has it that several vehicles ran over this poor woman’s corpse before cops could stop traffic and retrieve what remained of the remains. What I’m wondering, is how does a dead body end up in the middle of the Interstate at 5AM? Was it foul play or perhaps a more grandiose version of the phenomenon where socks, shoes, clothing and furniture mysteriously end up on the side of the road? Who (excepting toddlers and possibly teenage boys) just randomly tosses a shoe out on the freeway?

The appearance of a dead body in the middle of I-71 is far more unusual than the normal trucker bombs, occasional shoe, or piece of furniture commonly observed on the berm. I am sure there are a plethora of details yet to be unearthed from this rather grisly occurrence right here in beautiful central Ohio.

I am also sure that commuters coming into Columbus on I-71 northbound were not terribly happy about being rerouted around the outer belt. That could add 20 miles to some commutes depending on where you’re coming from, your knowledge of the city, (there are ways much shorter than official detours) and where you need to end up. I used to be a parts driver years ago. I know the short cuts, back ways and plenty of alternate routes to get just about anywhere in the greater central Ohio area. I had to learn them long before the days of GPS, though I will say GPS can make back road traveling more interesting. Just a week ago Saturday I discovered a nice little back road route to get from Lancaster to Reynoldsburg without having to go all the way to I-270 and then having to head back east again.

One thing that is universal about metro areas is the stop and gawk effect. Whenever there’s an accident in the road it seems as if everyone has to slow down and stop and gawk at it. As much as I really get pissed when other people do it I find myself doing the same thing, only worse, because I’m the weirdo trying to assess the damage to the cars.

That Grand Am was totaled.

There’s a sort of karmic justice in this one though. This is just another reason to avoid those regions too far north for human habitation.

On a more serious note I have to wonder why it seems so compelling to observe the misfortune of others. What is the allure of human pathos- ranging from scandal to physical damage to death itself?

I’m also wondering, though I’m not surprised, why there is such a lack of compassion and public outcry for the murder of Christopher Lane from the self-appointed “leaders”- Al Sharpton and Obama most conspicuously- in the black community. Jesse Jackson did offer some pap about “living in peace” with each other, and how he “frowned” on this incident, which was something more than nothing. It was better than him officially condoning “killing whitey,” for whatever that’s worth.

Apparently the murder of an unarmed white guy by three black thugs just doesn’t carry the moral outrage of a black thug getting killed by a white guy defending himself.

When will we as a country and a culture get past the race baiting and the sensationalism attached to racial issues?

Why can’t we see past Obama’s race and impeach him for his blatant incompetence?!

Obama isn’t entirely to blame for the racial unease in this country. He is partially a result of it- white liberals voted for a black guy to appease their own guilt over how black people were treated in the past, and he got overwhelming support from black people, many of whom wrongfully think anyone who keeps the government handouts coming and/or is black (or claims to be black) themselves is “on their side.” Of course there was a heaping helping of voter fraud in there as well. He may have won in 2008 somewhat honestly- but certainly NOT in 2012.

So more than half the country loathes this impostor president currently squatting in the White House. But Obama knows he can get away with anything up to and including murder (remember Benghazi…) because he can always instill the fear of race riots should “his majesty” be deposed.

If only there were racial equality in this country- then it would not be a problem impeaching and more importantly, removing the Worst President in American History. It would have happened long ago – in fact he’d never have been elected to begin with- if he had been white. Had Obama been (or claimed to be) white, his woeful lack of qualifications and experience would have made him unviable as a candidate. “Not enough gravitas,” the naysayers would bleat, had Obama been or claimed to be white, but the affirmative action candidate gets a pass.

When will this train wreck end? And why am I compelled to stop and gawk at it?

More importantly when will we judge people on the content of their character rather than giving them a pass because of the color of their skin? I’d really like to know.

I didn’t intend to watch the Royal Wedding, but since it was on every single channel that Jerry relies upon for news, I got treated to a few bits and pieces. I found another big difference between the UK and the US also, and I found it a bit disquieting. I’ve never seen white American women wear the funky hats like I saw on today’s wedding guests. The last time I saw hats like that, they were on black women dressed up for church. The only white woman I’ve ever seen wearing big funky hats is the Queen. She was wearing a nice big yellow one today, which I thought looked nice on her.

I would love to wear that hat out in public- even though I am as white as what comes out of a Wonder bread factory- but if I showed up for church with that on I would likely get some giggles, and not a few stares.

I hate to admit it, but I’m afraid to wear the (much tamer) vintage pink satin hat (or any of the other various vintage dress hats) I do have out in public, and it’s a shame. Hats are fun. Why should white American women be denied them? British women wear them. Black American women wear them. Why not us?

Since when did I give a rat’s ass about others’ opinions on my personal choices in millinery? Or anything else for that matter?

I should wear the pink satin hat to church and see if anyone says anything about it.

The whole royal wedding business is sort of like a car wreck, as Jerry found out this morning. He kept watching it in spite of himself, and he’s a dude. (at least the last time I checked…) You really don’t want to watch it, because you don’t know anyone involved in it, and the whole pomp and circumstance thing seems kind of silly to most Americans, but there’s something painfully compelling about it, just like when there’s a car wreck and everyone has to stop and gawk at it. You know you shouldn’t, but you do anyway.

The arrival of the minivans/microbuses sort of surprised me. Perhaps they were shuttles from far-flung parking areas, because there weren’t enough valets to drive everyone’s car back and forth, but there’s something anticlimatic about arriving to such a Big Event in a glorified Mom van. It put me slightly in mind of the Town and Country Hearse conversion. If I have to go to a high faluting event and wear scratchy clothes, be friendly with people I don’t know from Adam’s housecat, and be on my best behavior, I want to make an Entrance rather than ride in a microbus with fifteen other people. But then again, how people arrive at such events is determined by how far up the chain you are. At an event like this I would be the Turd Entering the Punch Bowl, like I had to be at my sister’s wedding, which is another reason I wouldn’t want to have to go. I know my station in life: just slightly removed from the trailer park. My hair designer is whoever is currently working at whichever Great Clips I have the coupon for, my colorist is Nice and Easy #124, and my clothing is provided by a combination of discount sources- including the discount rack at Target, Goodwill, garage sales, and the clearance items I find at various discount clothing sites online.

I can’t say that I am necessarily jealous of the high-faluting set, other than they generally don’t have to worry about whether they can afford both food and scripts. I’m not a terribly social person anyway.

Even so, (back to the stop and gawk mentality…) It was interesting to see some of the guests. I think the most outrageous hat of the day prize has to go to Princess Beatrice.

I don’t think I’ve seen anything that outrageous even on the black church ladies. For good or ill, it got her noticed, which I think is the whole point of the hat thing. Women with funky hats do get noticed.

I thought it a bit strange that Elton John and his significant other were invited, but Elton is a good friend of the Queen, so I guess that was sort of a logical invite. I am glad to see Elton was dressed as a man and not in a dress or a Donald Duck costume or something. It would have been a lot more fun to watch, though.

People are always watching to see if people will fall, or knock things over, or puke or do something else embarrassing at high-faluting, high profile occasions like this. I’m sure people were watching to see if the wind would blow up ladies’ skirts, or if the little kids would fight, or someone would fall, etc. and so on. I’m sure photographers would kill for a shot of some high profile socialite or even one of the royals picking their nose, picking their crotch, falling, making nasty faces, breaking a heel, the list goes on. There are entire TV shows based up on unknown people doing stupid things (Most Daring, Smoking Gun Presents, etc.) so it’s even more priceless to the viewers when someone important screws up. I have to admit I enjoy the crap out of that kind of stuff even though I probably shouldn’t. But who’s not going to laugh about some skater nutting himself while trying to jump rails, or some idiot falling through a drop ceiling in the midst of committing a robbery?

Maybe part of the reason why we watch things like royal weddings or Presidential funerals or other high pomp and circumstance events is not because we necessarily enjoy them, but because our own lives are rather colorless and boring by comparison. Nobody cares about some obscure, aging, cougar who sells automotive parts in the heart of fly-over country. When Ronald Reagan died, he had a 21 gun salute and a pretty impressive send off. When I die, Steve-o will get my ashes from the crematory, and like as not he will store them in an old Folger’s can that he will later mistake for an ashtray. Granted, Reagan had a lot more useful life than I could ever have, so he deserved a good send off.

Maybe we watch such things to simply gawk at the strange clothes.

However, we can see a lot stranger clothing without ever having to leave the States.

And even better:

ELYSIANHUNTER, ALWAYS INCITEFUL:

Because comedy is the flipside of tragedy

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Sicker Than Fiction, and the Stop and Gawk Effect

Sort of Like a Car Wreck, Funky Hats, and Strange Clothes